WHAT?!? Never measure up? But I have been working SO hard to improve, be more productive, more fit, get ahead, make more money…. The rat race. It’s exhausting. I’m exhausted. So can we stop already?
When we try to “measure up” it’s an endless cycle of never feeling good enough. It’s human nature to feel this way. And while it may be common, I do not in any way want to normalize it. We all have different triggers, but the feeling of “never enough” follows us all around. We begin to resent our circumstances, wanting them to change, or blame those around us for things that keep happening TO us (hello, victim mindset). Even if you arrive at your all elusive goal, there is always someone or something you compare yourself to so, once again, you do not “measure up.”
Instead, I want to offer the alternative of Measuring IN. Instead of trying to measure up to extrinsic factors, let’s look in. Inside of you lies a wealth of untapped knowledge and power. And while we want to be spoon fed the steps to success (hence why we are so willing to dump money at the next quick fix offering solutions to our problems), reframing what success is and how we find it is the key, by measuring IN.
Measuring up is dangerous because you have to give away your personal measuring stick. Instead of measuring yourself first and starting with your internal environment, you unfortunately look at everyone else, thinking, “well, I’m not that, and I’m not that, and if only I can be THAT…then I will be happy.” You measure and compare yourself into loathing and unhappiness. You cling to your unworthiness, fear, and anxiety as if somehow it will shield you from the world. It’s easier to complain about our circumstances than than to CHANGE them. Because change would require a break in the routine, and humans love routine no matter how detrimental to our lives they may be. It’s a loathsome burden we happily carry around acting as our armor. But your armor will also shield you from joy, belonging, connection, and love.
External factors will always be there. I’m not suggesting you ignore the world we live in. What I AM suggesting is that you turn inward to take stock of your internal environment. Ingesting everyone else’s opinion is flat out vomitus. Comparison is a trap, and one I know well. There is always someone more successful, more fit, a better mom, happier, more “put together.” Measuring IN reveals our faults, triggers, and imperfections as the gateway to connect and stop resisting life. ‘Cause here’s the thing…you are perfectly imperfect.
When we constantly seek outside validation, it’s only a mask for what we are trying to cover up on the inside: pain, insecurity, shame. We are terrified that we might not “measure up” to whatever this nebulous standard is, and continue to play small, and not own and stand in our power.
Measuring IN allows us to set our own standard and never again have to measure UP. Measuring IN is growth, expansion, inspiration, compassion, connection, and alignment.
Stay tuned for the next Blog on Measuring IN… What it is NOT and also Action Steps I reveal to be able to Measure IN.
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